Rory's Journal

I dreamt of blood upon the shore, of eyes that spoke of sin.
The lake was smooth and deep and black, as was her scented skin.
A mask I wore as I approached, I was what I am not.
And though the pattern was unclear, it's meaning could be bought.
Drawn to Bacchus's abode, I sought there to conspire.
But it was in the city of the dead that I found my heart's desire.
I spoke to one who smelled of death, he gave me to his ears.
And crosses that were marked were made into a veil of tears.
The road was blocked, the truth was shunned, the white flag had been waved.
Reversal cost me all I had, and everything I'd braved.
And then the night became as day, I glimpsed nature's reddest claw!
The face of fear looked back at me as I gazed into the maw.
My last ally laid to waste, I ran towards the light.
I prayed for one to change my path, to give me strength to fight.
Inside a hidden chamber where I had no right to be,
I found the wheel at last, or could it be, the wheel found me.
And then the wheel went round and round, I could not find my way.
Twelve and three and turn the key, I heard the madman say.
Deep in the earth I faced a fight that I could never win.
The blameless and the base destroyed, and all that might have been.

Programmers - We're just not happy until we're off by one on everything.

In an attempt to keep my blog a little more professional, I have removed some old entries and more of the stupid ones. Anyway, I'm trying to keep the blog a little more towards programming and writing so that there might actually be some categorization. My blog allows for categories, but the last time I turned them on it didn't seem to work. Oh, well. Sorry to those of you looking for the design plans to the atom bomb. I don't post that stuff.

I'll try to keep it interesting. I apologize in advance if I numb your skull with boredom.

So, I know I have been a little hard on Bozeman in my past blogs (I write for the theatrical after all), but I have decided to be more constructive. Snow removal problems are one thing, but housing prices are insane around here. I don't honestly understand the process of how housing prices get set. Why are prices higher in some places and lower in the next? I'm sure it's got something to do with an economics formula that makes Quantum Mechanics look like scrabble. But, the fact is, housing prices around Bozeman are 20% above the national average. People that don't make a lot of money simply can't afford homes around here and that's not right. I've seen more than one family forced to live in a rental with a bunch of crazy college kids next door because they simply can't make the payments. And, this is not to say that they don't make a lot of money, either. There are plenty of people who make $50k a year and can't get a house. That's just stupid. It voids the middle class and you end up with trailer parks and mansions.

But, I said "constructive" criticism. I am actually trying to get involved at the city level to find out how it all really works internally, then see if I can make a difference. I just want my own house, out of the neighborhood of idiots that think drinking beer through a wearable cup is the best thing in the world, and into an environment I feel safe raising my kids in. Otherwise, the only option I see is to move to a city with normal housing prices. I mean, aren't we in the middle of a housing market crisis? Shouldn't prices on homes be plummeting?

I am addicted to caffeine. I can tell because without it I am droopy pants. And, when I do get my paws on some, it makes me happy. I am actually happy for no reason. Just happy. I can be happy without it of course. But, if I'm not already happy, it makes me that way. I think that fact makes my co-workers happy, too.

I also think that good things are about to happen to me. Bear with me, this may just be the aforementioned caffeine. My financially fragile little world seems like it's always on the edge. I was hoping with the launch of Poinzy.com everything would become better, but it hasn't. We are dragging our feet taking the invite code off of the artist's system. So, money isn't going to be coming in from there until we are done. But, my plan is to focus on my Game Design career aspect. Creativity is where I need to be and on that note, I am going to be rearranging parts of my blog within the next few months. I am going to focus the blog to more career oriented. It will still be my personal blog, but it will probably have links to my resume and, most importantly, my portfolio of programming. I tell people I am a programmer, but they have yet to actually see any of my code. I have a few projects that would be interesting for an employer to see and I need to represent that.

Also, I still need to increase my writing time. My short stories that are on my blog aren't really that interesting, but at the same time I don't want to post a chapter or book. I might actually want to sell that some day. I think the best advice for that is to forget about money and just post it so people can enjoy it. I'll never get published, because the publishing companies have seen to that for all of us. They don't care about new writers and they certainly won't read the work of some nobody.

I am currently listening to "Kiss The Girl (Little Mermaid) - Dance Mix". It's interesting...

I'm beginning to understand why some blogs clear out old entries after a few years. Some of my entries are terrible. Especially the ones from Gamestop. I look like a nut case. It's obvious that retail isn't for me. It drove me crazy. I'm much more relaxed now, but anyone looking back on them and reading the entries would think I was crazy. I might have to start cleaning out those entries if future employers are going to be looking at them. To anyone joining the blog in the last year, don't bother looking back. It's not impressive.

Retail used to make me nuts. I am definitely the guy that sits at the desk and programs. I'd rather be playing and making video games then selling them to customers. Sometimes I just don't have the patients to deal with customers like that. That is why I do what I do now. Program.

Lately, the Ruby on Rails community has been under fire for some reason I don't fully understand. I think Slashdot made an on-going debate more public. I'm keeping the fire going for no reason at all except to fill blog space, and bore you. Ruby on Rails was created to make web application development easier to use for programmers. Except that some people come to it expecting magic and when they don't get it their little heads sort of pop. I have been picking up RoR and like it for a few specific traits and plan to use it for some projects. Currently, I am a PHP fanatic, though. Debating a programming language makes you the Commander of the Super Nerd Kingdom. Who the hell cares what you program in? I don't sit around asking people how they feel about something. I just get the project done and bank. Only a moron spends any time on a forum asking people how they feel about something.

On another note, blogging about a programming language debate makes you The Lord High Chieftain Overlord of All Nerd and Geekdom. I will take my crown now, Thank You!!!

This entry is for all the C++ die-hard programmers out there. Some of you may not know about some of the hidden features of C++. Have you ever struggled with trying to work with combining a regular variable and a const variable? Well, try this:

varType functionOfSomething(const varType & copy)
{
return *this = const_cast<varType & >(copy);
}

Just like that, I have casted away the const restriction of the variable and am now free to use it anyway I please. If I caught your interest with that you can also try looking up some of my other favorites: reinterpret_cast (changes types to other types), dynamic_cast, and static_cast. The last two are obvious for static type definitions. But, be careful with reinterpret_cast as it is a way to circumvent the C++ type-cast restrictions that make it a semi-safe language.

Use of these is considered bad programming by some, including myself. If I can, I try to avoid them. But, to hell with me, it makes some stuff really easy to write! They are also ISO C++ compliant and are supported on all standards compliant compilers like GCC, Visual Studios, and Borland. Have fun!

Some of you may have noticed the Google ads that I put to the left of the blog. Google AdSense accounts are one of the ways people who don't do anything with their websites (me) make money. When I say make money, I mean I carve out a couple bucks a week. While this doesn't seem like much, it's only like that for me because I have about four people that read this. And, I sincerely thank you four for being here. In fact, I salute you. salutes | pokes eye out on accident | Cusses

ANYway, Google ads adjust the type of ads that are displayed based on the content of the page you are looking at. Because I haven't blogged that much all the ads are talking about how to relieve stress. Nutty. I'll try and talk about more interesting things. Not that you care what the ads look like, but it kind of makes me look crazy. And the voices in my head say that could be a "bad thing". Hmm....

"One in the hand is worth two in the bush. A Bush in the White House is worth five drunken sailors hitting on your mother."

I have been told again that my site doesn't make any sense. While I stand by that it is simply a place to hold my writings, and possibly a rant or two, I realize that I should probably put a translator on it so that people can easily understand what is going on. I have provided you with this link that will help translate my site into an easier to read source: RoryWeb Translation

If Microsoft made books you would have to buy a special "reader" in order to actually read the book. Once other companies began developing superior, more secure, and easier to use alternatives to the reader none of the fonts and standards for the book would continue to work for the book. Styles for the book would also be strange and text would be aligned improperly.

If Microsoft made books, after finishing a page and attempting to turn to the next page, you would be told, "You are trying to turn the page. Would you like to allow access to the next page?" This would happen on every single page.

If Microsoft made books the book wouldn't be readable in certain areas. Only Microsoft signed locations would be able to allow you to open your book. You would also be able to buy an alternative Gold Reader membership where you would be able to read the book anywhere, but the font and styles in the book still would not look like they do in other companies readers. This annoyance would be promised in future releases, but never actually happen.

If Microsoft made books you probably wouldn't enjoy reading, would you?

As I walked inside, the feeling of the past's painful reemergence grew inside me. It had been seven years since I had seen her, yet the memory burned in me as the damage she had done presented itself as the scar tissue it had remained. I waited in the lobby glancing nervously around. Trying to remain calm was useless. I felt as if I was under attack and that I had to manifest greatness I had never contained simply to stand there and be me. A strange feeling of standing outside of myself overcame me as I lost presence of time.

Then I saw her. Looking at her standing there was like staring at her from across the chasm of Time itself. I could not reach her, touch her, or even speak to her; yet my eyes remained locked to her back. It was her without a doubt. She stood there sorting out a customers purchase; calm and smooth. I had no idea how long I starred at her while the feeling inside me shot through my body. The same sick feeling I had when I was with her so long ago. But now, hate made my stomach churn. She who had hurt me so deeply was alive and well.

"Sir, can I help you?", a clerk next to me asked.
"Oh, yes..Um sorry. I'm here to have lunch with a friend of mine.", I managed.

After giving her the name to call and my name in turn, I quickly looked back to her. She had moved and was gone. I slowly scanned the lines and then down the service counter, and found her again. She was standing much as I was now. Waiting for something to happen, anything. She slowly turned around as I starred at her, still fixated. And then, for a moment where stars exploded and ancient warriors would have drawn swords, our eyes met, and locked. Did she recognize me; did she know me as I knew her now at that very moment for all her evil? A heart beat of time passed and I continued scanning the lobby as if I had never really seen her. I moved nonchalantly a few feet opposite of her.

When I summoned the courage to face my opponent once more, she was gone. I would never know if this woman had realized that I was really there, or if she remembered ripping my heart out, in first love's embrace, only to throw it to the ground never to beat again with it's passion. Never to close the everlasting gap between us.

The site has been hosed for the last few days, not that any of you bastards would have noticed. I switched hosts. I am hosting with a2hosting.com now and they kick ass so far. I have Ruby on Rails access now, and even SSH on a shared server. That was a big surprise. Usually hosts aren't brave enough to give that kind of access. They seem to know what they are doing and thankfully have a control panel. I configure servers by hand all day for my job, I don't need to do it for my website, too. So, welcome back...You bastards!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I do NOT have a brain aneurysm. Thank you and good night.