To begin a difficult walk...
I've always worried about what my future holds and what I could do with it, but it has just recently become apparent on how easy and sometimes meaningless it is to plan for a future with something. We study for something or we work for something and in an incredibly short amount of time we can lose it all. A flash. Just like that. How pointless it is then for us to attempt to stand for something, right? Not true. Now more than ever I believe that we must stand for what we truly feel. We all have to fight for what we really want from ourselves. I've watched people at all ages and stages in life go past me seeing what they have fallen into doing simply because it was what they were forced to do a long time ago. Yet, instead of dramatically throwing off those chains that burden them they continue to be bound to a rotting life in a position to never expand their wings; always in the shadow of defeat. In times of great loss and tragedy I want to believe that I have the power to help. In times of great need, I want to believe that I will not be one of those people looking around lifelessly or screaming in horror. When people's needs are great I want to believe that they can reach out and I can pull them from such horror or failure. But, if I really think about it, I have no such power to do no such thing. And, so I remain just as lost as those around me. No heroic powers of a wizard can fly from my fingers to heal or resurrect those that need it. No miraculous powers to fly over and lift heavy objects out of they way will be found in me. How then, do I see myself as becoming the hero I have always read about? This form I have wanted to mold myself to since I was a child that can never take place in this new, business-like world we have created for ourselves.
Perhaps the real question is where are those heroes that we used to read about? I know that some of you point to our soldiers, firemen, and police. In every way you are right. These people really are the ones that have made themselves into those heroes that I have read about. Trapped in a burning building, feeling the life sucked form your lungs by the darkness of smoke, a single hand comes and grips you, pulling you quickly to safety. These are the real people who save real lives everyday. What they do will be remembered and, for some, will never be forgotten because of the difference they made. In many ways, I wish I could do what they can do. Instead, I go to work tomorrow to sell video games to people. Never to be remembered, never to have made a real difference. I don't see how I can live a life like that. I need to take my steps into a world where I can make a difference. This sacred path, where angels tread.
